A Free Day As A Free Man
Wednesday, June 22, 2011 at 05:32PM 
Image: theunnamed, Creative Commons
By Milo Nickels
I woke up today and, as I do every morning, I paused to reflect about how great it was to be a completely free man living in the United States of America--the last bastion for true individual liberty in the world. It's a wondrous and exhilarating feeling to know that I am a sovereign, completely independent, individual. No man, woman, child, or government can interfere with my unalienable rights of life, liberty, or my pursuit of happiness. I'm almost overwhelmed that I can do ANYTHING I WANT (as long as I don't screw with anyone else's rights).
So I roll over and I give my wife a good morning kiss on the cheek. I married her several years ago after I paid the state for a marriage license and had a state representative preside over the ceremony to make it "legal". It's wonderful that I can choose to spend my life with whoever I want. (I'm just glad I'm not gay. Poor bastards.)
My first stop of the day is the bathroom, as it is every day. I brush my teeth with governmentally regulated fluoridated water and my FDA approved toothpaste. Then I take a whiz into my governmentally regulated low-flow toilette. I also decided to shave my face with my electric razor. It's a little frustrating how high energy costs have gotten, and how much of that money goes to taxes, but at least I'm free to shave my face--unlike those other schmucks--in those not-free countries!
I didn't have much planned today--just had to run a few errands and mow my yard. So I had a quick breakfast (all FDA approved just like my toothpaste), headed out the door, jumped into my car, and off I went. As I drove around town I was subjected to dozens upon dozens of traffic laws--any of which could result in me being fined, imprisoned, having my government-issued permission to drive revoked, or (at the very least) have my day interrupted by a public servant. As I was driving from errand to errand, I was closely monitoring my gas mileage because fuel costs (and the fuel-taxes we pay to the government) are out of control.
No worries, though, I can forget how intrusive the government really is by just turning on some music and jamming out--as long as I don't do it too loud (I don't want to be in violation of the city noise ordinance). The music really did the trick. I was driving around, not a care in the world, living as a completely free man!!! I just wish I could hear some songs on the radio that haven't been censored by the FCC. After I finish all my errands (which all involve paying sales tax to the government--from the money I already paid income tax on) I return to my house to mow the lawn.
My lawn--you know, the one I pay property taxes for so the government won't take it away--doesn't really need to be mowed quite yet. But I decided to mow it today anyhow, because they are forecasting rain for the next few days. I just don't want to risk having my lawn get too long. If it does, I'll be in violation of the city ordinance and have to pay a fine to the government.
So...after I finish the lawn, the rest of the day is pretty uneventful. I eat another FDA approved meal, watch some FCC-regulated TV with my state-licensed wife and my two tax-dependents (children), and then we will all go to bed again...
I'm not sure what time I'm going to go to bed, though. I'm a free man and I can make that choice for myself!!!
Isn't freedom amazing?
Vist Milo often at his blog, fivecentrevolution (dot) com, here.
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